Safety Web

Safe and exciting run contrary to one another

It’s why my time with you is so difficult

The safety, peace with you is rare, priceless

Yet it brings the excitement to a crash

Into the retaining wall behind your house

Safety is predictability, it’s routine

None of the fun

That make life worth the pain

Nobody walks along the safety net

They get tangled in its web

Shelob’s web

Banished to Cirith Ungol for exercising our autonomy

They run on the thin platform above

For you to be my safety, it follows

That there exists a chaos, a danger elsewhere

The water damaged platform

Ready to cave at the slightest touch

And therein lies the self-destructive tendencies

That plague me for

You and I to succeed

The other classifications of life must deteriorate

Career, family, friends, hobbies, health

Perhaps it’s an incessant need for chaos

And this is just me rationalizing

More likely, I’m too big a coward

To say goodbye and

To lean into those tendencies

Knowing one day, I’ll crawl back

Scarred and remorseful

Because the relief after the abuse

Is the name of the most High